A:  A widely accepted definition of premature ejaculation is ejaculation (“coming”) that occurs prior to when a man wishes it, or,  too quickly during intercourse to satisfy the partner.  It is very common, especially in young and sexually inexperienced males. However, there are several techniques that may help you delay ejaculation and prevent sexual difficulties in your marriage:

Use a condom during intercourse to decrease genital sensation. This will enable you to “last longer”.  Over-the-counter ointments and creams (such as Detane) that “desensitize” the penis   (although they also may significantly reduce any pleasurable sensations as well).  Twice is nice.  Some men report it is easier to control a subsequent ejaculation 2-3 hours after they have already had one orgasm.  Try the “stop-start” method, developed by urologist James Semans.  This involves manual  stimulation of the penis until the man recognizes that he is about to ejaculate; the stimulation is then stopped until the sense of ejaculatory urgency disappears.  The sequence is repeated until ejaculation is desired.   The final time, stimulation continues until ejaculation occurs.  

Finally, realize that your future wife may enjoy other sexual activities that don’t involve penetration and orgasm on your part.  There are many other stimulating activities (oral sex, stimulation with hands, hugging, etc.) that are very pleasurable, even when they do not produce orgasm for either of you.

While experience and practice may help resolve the problem, should it continue, you may wish to discuss it with your health care provider.