During oral sex my partner never finishes the deal which makes it very unsatisfying.
How can I persuade her to wrap things up in a joyful manner?
A: My question to you
– does she know you want “the deal” finished? When it comes to sexual
satisfaction, there is no one correct way to please a man or woman; and,
you certainly cannot rely upon your partner’s mind-reading ability to
know your individual preferences and desires.
Open communication with your partner is a must for any sexual act you
wish to engage in with pleasure. If your preference is to be orally
stimulated to climax, then talk with her about this. Let her know
what feels good to you and what she could do to enhance your climax through
oral stimulation. Listen carefully to how she responds and reacts
to your requests.
Perhaps, she knows your preferences but doesn’t want to carry out your
requests. If this is the case, then encourage her to explain her
reasons. It could be due to jaw fatigue, in which case you could
explore alternative positions or experiment with other forms of stimulation
to reduce over-use of her jaw and facial muscles. Or, she may be
averse to you ejaculating into her mouth, in which case you could create
some kind of signal to let her know when ejaculation is about to occur
so that she may switch to manual stimulation. The point is – you
should never “persuade” someone to do something sexually that they do
not want to do.
Finally, sexual pleasure is not just a one-way deal. You do not
mention any concern over whether or not the sexual encounter is satisfying
for her. It could be that she is not bringing you to climax because,
in the past, that meant the session was over and she was left hanging.
Make sure that you are paying the same amount of respect and attention
to her preferences and desires as you are expecting in return from her.
Important: Sexually transmitted
diseases such as herpes, genital warts, HIV and gonorrhea can be transmitted
via oral-genital contact. If you are going to engage in oral sex,
protect yourself by using a non-lubricated condom.
Reference: Elliott, L.
& Brantley, C. (1997). Sex on Campus. New York: