Managing Your Emotions

People commonly confuse emotional health with being happy all the time. Yet, to be human is to experience emotions of sadness, anger and fear, as well as happiness and love. Emotional health does not mean getting rid of the 'not-so-pleasant' emotions; rather, it means having the skills to effectively acknowledge, express and deal with them in a constructive manner. It also means having positive self-esteem and a strong sense of value for oneself and for others.

The following is a list of suggestions for improving emotional health:

• Allow yourself to become emotionally involved with those you truly care about. Sharing feelings and emotions with someone you trust is the key to establishing close relationships.
• Strive to view setbacks, mistakes and disappointment not as incidences of failure, but rather as lessons that reveal what you need to do to succeed in the future. When faced with a setback, approach it as a challenge to move ahead.
• Take a class or read a book about how to control anger and how to express it effectively.
• Only a small fraction of guilt is justified. Refuse to accept guilt that should not belong to you.
• Evaluate your relationships. Do they make you feel worthy and supported? Do they bring you solace and joy? Confront relationships that constantly cause you to feel low and unhappy.
• Seek out the positive - replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts; focus on things that are good rather than bad.
• Take a course in self-assertiveness.
• Exercise - it's great for alleviating tension due to mild depression, stress, anger and anxiety.
• Take a course or read a book about stress management strategies.
• Allow yourself to experience and work through the full spectrum of emotions.
• Evaluate your level of self-esteem. Fear of risk-taking, extreme criticism of yourself and/or others, and a persistent need to be accepted are a few indicators of low self-esteem.
• Improve your self-esteem - Acknowledge all of the things about yourself for which you are proud and which you like. Participate in activities that bring out and enhance your positive qualities. Surround yourself with those who support you and make you feel worthy. Read a self-help book for improving self-esteem.
• Express your needs. Accept and support the needs of others, as well.
• If you are struggling with persistent, negative emotions, seek help from a professional counselor at Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) located upstairs in the Campus Health building, 621-3334.

Written by: Melissa McGee, Ph.D., MPH